Dear Theo,

I've had a near 15-year relationship with BOB -- my battery-operated boyfriend. That's more continuity than I've had with any real man. I've heard from other women and noticed myself that as a result, it’s harder to orgasm during sex when there is a real flesh-and-bone man in my bed. My BOB is so strong, steady, and powerful, and you know, the real guys just aren't as ... reliable (!). Any tips on how to have the best of both worlds?

Thanks,

Ms. "Good Vibrations"


Dear Ms. Good Vibrations,

Many women, as you know, have long-lasting relationships with a BOB and many bring that BOB into their real live relationships. There’s nothing wrong or strange about bringing a toy into the mix with a human. Sometimes with a human it takes more time to get the chemistry happening, unlike with the BOB, where it’s a given. Human chemistry can sometimes happen in an instant, but often times it takes a lot more work. If you can, be patient with the human for he is not a machine.

You asked about tips for the best of both worlds, so if you are dating, don’t be shy; bring your BOB into the mix. It will certainly be more orgasmic for you, and you deserve it. If the dude can’t handle it, well, he’ll have to work harder with your instruction to get things right (if you have the patience) or you can move on to someone else. Lots, and I mean lots, of women incorporate toys into their relationships I assure you; please do not be timid. It is your born right to get the most enjoyment you can out of sex. I understand if you feel a little uneasy about busting out your BOB in a brand new situation, but it can’t hurt to get the cards on the table. Plus, with a fun, open guy (long-lasting relationship or not), it will literally and figuratively only add to the good vibes. Go get yourself some extra batteries to have on hand and an underwater BOB so you're ready for some summer lovin'!

Theo Kogan is the MOLI View's contributing editor for Fashion & Design. Her THEOlogy column appears Tuesdays and Thursdays. Every other Thursday, she answers your questions with her tough-love advice. Send your questions via e-mail or here on MOLI