Most New Yorkers don't see the value in their funiture.

Craigslist is a treasure trove of slightly used but awesome furniture. I bought a 36" flatscreen Sony TV with high definition for $180. That may not look like a steal, but new TVs over 27" start at $250. I did some research on my particular model and a lot of Craigslist ads from other cities came up in the google search. Some guys were asking as much as $600 for the same model. So why was mine so cheap? Because it took up space. It's a big, heavy piece of furniture and it takes up a ton of space. When you're paying $1200 for a one bed room apartment in Queens and moving once every two years, you tend to value the little space you get.

Most of the people you meet on Craigslist have to move whatever it is they're selling by the end of the week, so you're practically doing them a favor by taking it off their hands. Sure they make a little bit of money on it, but its usually nowhere near what they paid for it. Some people, for one reason or another, don't bother and leave their old furniture on the sidewalk for the garbageman to pick up. After walking by a ton of quality furniture one trash night, I got an idea.

Why should these nightstands and tables be thrown away? A new person moves to New York everyday and could totally use this stuff. I bet they'd even pay for it.

So every Friday night, I scoured my block for anything sturdy enough to reuse and took it home with me. Then I'd take a few nice pictures of it with my digital camera and load them onto Craigslist. I never asked for much. $25 tops. But when you have four or five small tables to sell, that money adds up. Here are a few things I managed to sell:

Doesn't the carpet make it look nice? That's from off the street too.

I never told the people who responded to the ads that they were buying garbage, but then again they never asked. Occasionally someone would try to haggle with me and I'd try not to laugh as I pretended to consider whether $20 was more appropriate than $25. It's all the same to me, lady. Enjoy your garbage.

So one Friday night I was checking out the "new merchandise" and I came across this chair:

It was the only thing worth taking on a rainy night, so I picked it up and hauled it home. It wasn't too heavy, but it was definitely wide and deep enough to sit cross-legged in. You can't tell from this picture but it appeared to be missing a cushion and the upholstery was blotchy in some areas. I considered asking for $20, but I figured I would only get $15 with such prominent marks on it. I titled the ad "Big Comfy Lounge Chair" and wrote a very honest description. The next morning, I got the following e-mail:

Chair - we'll pay $100!!!

Hey there,

Saw your ad on Craigslist.

As I know we're probably not the first in line, I will offer $100 for it to advance to first place.

Please let me know if it's available and when I can come by to pick it up .

cel: 713-xxx-xxxx

Thanx!

Wha? I had posted my ad for the chair around 11:00 the night before and this e-mail came around 10:30 AM. Did he think there was a blue chair rush in Queens? Why the urgency? Why would a man who thinks two "Ls" in "cell" is wasteful offer me $100 for a $15 chair? As I was reading this e-mail, he writes me another one:

$100 - Still Want It!!!!

Hey there,

I'm hoping you're asleep because your post went up so late last night.

We just moved to NYC and need furniture badly - can't find anything we can afford.

I keep missing everything on Craigslist, it generates so much response so quickly that I can't ever get to anything fast enough.

We still would very much like to buy your chair - and out of desperation, we will gladly offer you $100.

Please do call (or let me know if it's sold) at 713-xxx-xxxx

Thanks so much & take care!

(and happy holidays!)

Something is amiss here. First of all, if he's looking for furniture he can afford, why is he offering more than 600% of the asking price? Secondly, it's not that hard to find furniture in New York. It litters the streets. I'm officially wary, but $100 is $100.

I respond:

It's yours, but out of curiosity, why so eager?

He writes back in a timely fashion:

YAY TO ME!!!!!

Rob,

I'm eager because Craigslist is a monster.

We listed all of our furniture on Craigslist in Houston before we moved here and within an hour we had 150 emails in our inbox.

Within five hours our entire house was sold.

In New York it seems to be worse.

I can't get any furniture. It keeps being sold before I can get to it.

Basically, you have to be the very first person to respond to have any chance of buying anything.

Since I didn't see your ad for six hours, I figured the only way I could get your chair was to offer more.

Thank you so much for getting back to me! Finally, our first furniture purchase in New York!

We live in Brooklyn and don't have a car - I know somebody who can come pick it up and pay and bring it to us (a guy with a van).

Let me know where and when and I'll get it taken care of!<script type="text/javascript" />

Thanx again!

150 e-mails? Some of my fine merchandise (junk that an animal may have peed on) sits on Craigslist for a few days without generating much interest. Maybe people are totally batshit crazy in Houston. A former Houston resident is offering me $100 for a chair I found outside in the rain, so why not? The "YAY TO ME!!!!" is a little scary, but maybe he's simple. Like hit-in-the-head-with-a-brick simple. Maybe he lost the part of his brain that controlled his negotiating skills and his ability to spell "thanks" correctly.

I write back:

I can bring the chair out whenever if you have a van. I live on the corner of Hazen and 21st Ave. in East Elmhurst. When is best for you?

When you're outside, you can contact me at 718-606-xxxx.

That's pretty straightforward, right? Here's his response:

RE: YAY TO ME!!!!!

Hi Rob,

I finally figured out a way to get it.

BUT, the guy with a van says he can't pick it up until Monday.

I hope that is not too late!

I can send you a deposit by PayPal if you want - I don't want you to think I'm not serious, I just don't have a car and I don't know how else to move it.

But, assuming it's OK - the guy can pick it up just about any time on Monday.

Let me know.

Thanx so much & take care!

By this point, I'm getting a handful of other offers for the chair and this guy is really weirding me out. It's Saturday and this chair is sitting right in the middle of my entrance and I just want it gone. And what's his plan for this guy with a van? Is he going to have some complete stranger give me his money and take my furniture back to him? Does this guy keep "candy" in his van? I had been in New York for three months at this point, so I wasn't really interested in being abducted and fondled by some dude in a van.

I didn't think I was getting that $100 anymore and I had a few offers for the chair from people in the area.

My response was curt:

I won't be around on Monday I'm afraid and I don't have a Paypal account.

Craigslist says to watch out for anyone who refuses to meet face to face or says they'll wire you money. This guy was doing both. I thought my response would discourage him, but he kept coming at me:

Boo Hoo To Me :(
Tuesday workable?

Awww, its like a kicked a puppy. A very creepy puppy who hires guys with vans to abduct people. And "boo hoo to you?" Even Texas retards don't say shit like that. I know your tricks, Mr. Van Rapist.
I didn't respond. Fuck that guy. How dare he offer me $100 for trash? Meanwhile, some guy who lived fifteen blocks away responded to my ad and said he could pick it up Sunday. I told him it was all his. Sunday morning, I got this:

Boo Hoo To Me?
Sold?

If not, I can still get the pickup done tomorrow...

Again with the "boo hoo to me?" Did he expect a "Yes, boo hoo to you" or a "No, yay for you!!!!!"

The other guy came that evening and picked up the chair. He told me his mother had one when he was growing up and confirmed that it was indeed missing a cushion. He gave me the $15 and carried it home. He even wrote a little thank you note. It was done with. Time to end the 'yays' and 'boo hoos' once and for all.

I write:

Hello,

I ended up selling the chair to a friend who liked it. It was taking up space in front of the door and I had to have it out before I had guests over. Thank you for your interest all the same and good luck finding a suitable replacement.

That's all bullshit of course but I didn't want to sound like I sold the chair to someone else just to spite him. I thought he was crazy for sure. He had my address and home phone number so who knows what he might have done if provoked.

Instead, he wrote the following:

Rob,

At least tell your friend that it's an Eero Saarinen Womb Chair.

I laughed. What the hell is that supposed to mean? So I typed "Eero Saarinen Womb Chair" into a Google search and find the following site. Go on, click it:

Eero Saarinen Womb Chair

..............
..............
..............

Holy swing dancing Jesus.

This chair is $2,518 brand new. And it was sitting on the street as garbage.

I felt the color drain from my face. It was like sitting next to a homely girl everyday for a year in home ec class and suddenly finding really hot naked pictures of her. Who knew this dirty chair had so much potential?

This guy probably figured I was furious, but I wasn't. I thought it was so damn funny I wrote him back. He dropped the cutesy stuff and answered all my questions very candidly. He told me I probably could have gotten $400 for it despite its condition. If he bought it from me, he would have reupholstered it and sold it again for $1,200-1,400.
I still don't know if the guy who bought it from me (or any of the other responses) knew what the chair is worth. It got me a pretty funny story, so I guess I'll settle for that.

After all, most New Yorkers don't see the value in their funiture.